i can only describe my long absence as a long extended and well deserved maternity leave, my lil Aaron is one years old! Hard to believe! walking, talking, (well he seems to understand what hes saying..) and trying to eat everything...finding everything pretty intriguing and worthy of his time, well everything apart from his toys, he is generally keeping me in awe, wondering how my quite lil baby boy has suddenly evolved into this wonderful happy and playful child..loving his independence and the fact that he can run and play!
My new role as a mother has been somewhat challenging but highly rewarding, a short post natal depression episode, characterised by feeling very low, overwhelmed, resentment towards my husband as he left home for work to experience adult conversations whilst i walked around the house zombie mode, waiting for Aaron to nap before i could even dream of having me time..i don't mean me time book and long bath, i mean me time having a basic shower and a bite of toast...only to be followed by the " what have u been doing all day looks", the house really did look like it had been burgled and my general appearance looking like i got dressed in the dark, backwards.
I never thought i would be the woman tying her baby on her back while washing up, but lo and behold twas me...and in typically true life fashion it doesn't rain it pours, relationship dissapointments, overly high expectations of loved ones, and things generally seeming to go from bad to worse. The cliche proved true however, God is faithful indeed and having honest loyal supportive people around me brought the much needed sunshine back into my life.
I have since established a "routine", enjoying stay and play playgroup sessions with Aaron ...who has been lucky enough to experience baby massage baby yoga baby rhyme time, all the over excited new mother stuff...and i'm pleased to say that I've just given birth to the loveliest lil girl..my baby Zurielle, weighing in at 7lbs 8.
This blog entry is really just a catch up on whats been occupying my time....ie not model related stuff, nappy (diaper) related stuff and how im now mesmerized with my lil Aaaron and even liller Zuri....feeling extremely blessed to have two wonderful children.
Aaron is like..ok then...
My pregnancy experience this time was a lil more relaxed, firstly no daily throwing up, being tired was the main symptom i had to deal with. Cravings shifted from cheese and tomato everything to ice ice ice ice, now i have a long overdue dentist appointment pending! i had the same pointy tummy i had with Aaron which made the perfect stranger approach me like an old friend and proclaim that i was having a boy! Now for me who was secretly buying girls clothes, and who decided yet again not to find out the gender of the child this only proved irritating! I like boys and everything but i think every person knows what they can handle, and two boys under two..i was dreading it to be honest.God heard my cries! tears of joy came flooding down when i gave birth to Zurielle.
So not to totally turn this into a netmums esq blog entry but i have to mention the fact that i had a waterbirth, something i dreamed about for so long might i add, it was really amazing. I think my birth with Aaron was short, approx 3 hours but this was 1 hr 51 mins so the contractions where definitely harder and faster but so much better in the water.
Dont get it twisted gas and air was still not enough pain relief but i got through it, Zuri was so calm when she came out also, i think ill become a waterbirth ambassordor for all expectant mothers i know ;-).My post birth experience was way more of a shock to my body, and i didnt hold Zuri for about 3 hours after labour. My husband gave her her first formula feed, i was so tired, had to have a shower and a cuppa tea before i could face holding her. Labour is no joke.
Daydreaming of life after baby,i would love to model once again, although a small voice in the back of my mind is asking me how i plan on adjusting to life my with my wonderful pregnancy souvenirs mainly stretch marks...infact as I type i still look pregnant so my tummy has to somehow get back to pre pregnancy size, and asap preferably. Watch this space i say. Until then the children are enjoying their cousins and aunt and grandma, family and friends visiting basically, so its a wonderful end to 2012.
Back to the blog, i am trying to revamp it all,so u may b seeing some changes here and there... bare with me... i have actually missed blogging so its good to be back in the swing of things...between feeds and all....
Last but not least a massive thank u, hugs and kisses to my husband who has been patient enough to support me during what was practically two years of pregnancy! Although i disagree with the suggestion that i had been taken over by my evil twin, i agree with the fact that it was challenging at times... we made it! let the fun times begin! xxxx love always xxxx Teiko